3rd Annual Review – 2015

I’m late posting this… was mostly ready first week of Jan, but things got busy! Anyway, this is important for me to publicly acknowledge 2015 so late it may be but read on…

The Christmas decorations are being carted away, the kitchen is still strewn with the remnants of edible excess, and millions are making short-lived promises to improve their lives as January gets underway. It can mean only one thing – time for my 3rd ‘Annual Review’.

My first Annual Review on the blog came at a transitional moment in my life, after a particularly difficult couple of years. A year later and my mood had improved somewhat, though there were still clouds raining on my parade. How has this third consecutive year been for me? Relatively quiet in terms of the blog – I’ve been kept busy, and decided it was in my best interests not to publish content on many of the topics that were grating me. But the Annual Review is more about my professional life than my personal one – and I now see it as an exercise in mindfulness and positivity.

Once again, I don’t have resolutions for the new year, but I do have aspirations. A loose plan of what I’d like to achieve this year – remarkably I seem to have achieved most of my personal ambitions for 2015, so I’d like to ride that streak for another year.

It might be useful at this point to highlight the disappointments.

Its only now as the new year begins that I can properly move forward for plans with my publishing business. Work has been ongoing, but slowly and methodically. There’s some projects which have been lost with the delays, some plans changed, but we should be releasing again very soon. I’ve spent a lot of time on other people’s books at the expense of those I should have been writing myself – with any luck this year will see that change for the better of all involved.

I also enter the year once more as a singleton. I didn’t have so much as an exploratory coffee date in 2015, and in spite of my on-off relationship with dating websites I’m pretty much resigned now to spending the rest of my life as a quasi-40 year old virgin – living by myself with only movies and music for companionship. I’m still open to the idea of meeting someone I’m interested in that’s interested in me too, but after so long on my own, I’m not sure I’d even know how to conduct myself (not that I ever did). Still, that’s for another post.

Last year I vowed I would “push myself this year with various projects, embracing the creative streak which has remanifest itself this year. I’m going to look forward with more positivity and open-mindedness. I’m going to put myself out into the world more.” And I’m pleased to say, I exceeded my own expectations…

January saw me make my first challenge of the year – vowing to give up coffee for a couple of weeks after becoming increasingly concerned about the amount I was consuming. I’m sure it was playing with my blood pressure, my sleep patterns and irritability generally. After a lifetime this was no simple quitting, and I now have much more sympathy for those who give up things like cigarettes. I was spared the withdrawal symptoms others have reported – no chronic headaches, lethargy and so on, and my intake of herbal teas bloomed.

News of the attacks in Paris on the Charlie Hebdo offices coloured much conversation for the next few weeks. Anyone who’s ever worked with satire, made a distasteful comment, or indeed works in publishing, couldn’t help but feel something.

New projects started coming in, and I continued contributing to the Banterflix Cinecast – a Northern Irish-based film review podcast series. Involvement with Banterflix would grow into something rather special before the end of the year. Its a diverse group of people, lots of talent and ambition. Between January and June I found myself inputting on a near weekly basis, but I’m getting ahead of myself…

Managed to fit in a trip to the 360 Script Writing Festival at the BBC again at the end of January. I’d got quite a bit out of working at the fest in 2014, so able to commit to engaging fully in the workshops etc. this time was an opportunity to good to pass up. I did however nip out from the fest to record a short interview on the screen legacy of Sherlock Holmes for a package on BBC Radio Ulster’s Arts Show which went out the following week. As with so many of these things, much was cut, but my favourite consulting detective would demand more of my time in the months to come…

More BBC activity in February with a couple of Radio Ulster appearances including the first http://belfastfilmfestival.org/day-4-murder-by-decree-at-the-freemasons-hall-belfastin a run of semi-regular turns on Kerry McLean’s show, standing in for ubiquitous local critic and filmmaker Brian Henry Martin.

I also spent a few days working at the Beeb’s Make It Digital roadshow – promoting various technological advances and giving the public a snapshot insight into how their tv shows are made – with much of my time seemingly spent with the autocue demonstration. Make It Digital has done the rounds of the UK since then, and I’d recommend paying a visit if you get the chance.

Recording one of the Banterflix tv pilots. L to R: Robert JE Simpson, Richard Davis, Jim McClean.

The big project of the month was however the Banterflix Television Show which we were developing for local station NVTV. We ended up shooting two pilot episodes in their studio, translating the chat-based podcast to a visual medium. Kudos to NVTV for giving us the platform, and for indulging our experimentations, which have become increasingly bold. As the months have gone by we’ve moved from straightforward studio chat, to more segments, varied contributors, international segments, all fronted by Jim McClean. Bless, that man works too hard sometimes, but its very much his project.

I got involved with Banterflix in order to try new mediums, new groups, and keep in practice. Along the way I’ve picked up new skills, new colleagues and friends, and new projects have stemmed from the collective. I’m slightly envious of Jim because he’s doing the sort of thing I’d love to be doing, on his terms. But I knew that I wanted to work on more things were I wasn’t in charge – I wanted to ease the burden of responsibility – and its far more fun verbally sparring when you aren’t the one calling the shots. Over the last year, working with Jim and the rest of the team has been a lot of fun and has grown into other projects. I think our camaraderie is very evident now when we’re working together in studio and on location shoots (when I’m on screen, he’s filming and visa-versa).

The response to the show in March was a little muted at first, but its finding its way. Just last month I found myself being recognised from the show by an usher at the Waterfront Hall in Belfast – a z-list-celebrity experience which threw me a little (and as my companion for the evening keeps reminding me, I’m ‘Mr Banterflix’ – trying to overlook being remembered for someone else’s project rather than my own!). Its Northern Ireland’s first film review show on TV, and I’m proud of my involvement. NVTV have made all the episodes available to view online too, which has greatly helped build our audience.

I started working for Gigging NI as a photographer and reviewer. I photographed the excellent Ward Thomas gig as a trial run, and then caught the sublime Get The Blessing at the Brilliant Corners festival in Belfast – as enjoyable a first foray into writing about music as I could ever have wished for.

During my pre-screening chat for Murder By Decree I dragged a fan on stage to illustrate a point…. Photo by Belfast Film Festival.

April proved to be a pivotal month. As with last year I was involved in the Belfast Film Festival, introducing the Sherlock Holmes film Murder By Decree at the Masonic Hall in Belfast’s Arthur Square, and a special screening of the excellent If… in the Great Hall at QUB. In among that was an overindulgence in films of all shades including the drama of a gala performance of the awful Shooting for Socrates at the Waterfront (my review of the latter later getting republished by Film Ireland, who I haven’t written for since they went web-only).

I spent the day before the Murder By Decree screening, in London visiting various Sherlock Holmes associated spots, including Baker Street itself. I hadn’t expected to be back quite so quickly (after visiting the previous October to participate in the British Library’s Gothic season) but managed to fill the short visit with socialising, research and theatre! Holmes was a bonus, I was really over to see the very first public performance of Richard O’Brien’s Rocky Horror sequel, Shock Treatment, in its new musical theatre incarnation. I brought my dear friend Renee Glynne along as my date for the night, and for my part absolutely loved the show.

I was also deeply saddened to learn of the death of Sam Rohdie in April. Sam was my professor at QUB  during my undergrad film studies, and continues to be an inspiration to me and my engagement with film. I’ve been meaning to blog something about his passing (there are some comments on my Facebook page) but haven’t felt it quite right. I’ll be sure to post something soon.

Caught David O’Doherty again at the Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival at the end of April – a comedian I find constantly refreshing with his particular brand of light musical whimsy.

May was a whirl of activity. I popped along to the MCM ComicCon in Belfast with Jim – my first time at one of these events on home turf, and a little odd after having worked shows in England for a number of years.

I brought my friend Danny along for the ‘Night At the Orpheus’ walking tour of the old Art College building in York Street, Belfast. As I write the building has been demolished, and this was a last chance to experience the interior of the former dance hall. Particularly moving for me as I took a couple of photography modules as part of my undergrad that were hosted here. Never in the best of shape, its a shame that a refurb was declined as a possibility, but that’s a recurring theme. There’s an album of pics to follow.

Robert JE Simpson wandering the old Orpheus dancehall for the last time.
Pic by Danny Meegan.

Gigwise I sat down to an excellent last minute show (and frankly under-attended) from The Correspondents at The Black Box. I’ve been listening to them for  couple of years, and the sheer physicality of Mr Bruce’s whirligig dancing is something to experience. From that chaos I caught Jon Ronson at the Belfast Book Festival – my second Ronson experience in as many years. This time I drummed up the courage to thank him for The Psychopath Test, a book that resonated all too uncomfortably!

I’m never that far away from film and overloaded on Orson Welles this year. The centenary celebrations had me introduce screenings at QFT, a Banterflix special, and a live panel discussion with Rachael Kelly and Conor Smyth. 1st June saw Arrow release Hammer’s Hound of the Baskervilles on Blu-Ray/DVD including sleeve notes by me! A real thrill to see them in physical form this time, and my first Arrow commission.

Keeping things Hammer I was invited to talk at an international conference on Hammer in Paris, presenting a paper on the origins of the company focussing on founder Will Hammer’s other businesses. During lunch on the second day we learned that legendary actor Sir Christopher Lee had passed away, casting a long shadow over proceedings for many of us. That evening I broadcast live for Arts Extra on BBC Radio Ulster sharing my thoughts on his passing – a surreal experience.

Paris was great – I promised myself last year that I’d visit and timing couldn’t have been better. I extended the trip as a treat, embracing the warm weather, walking round the city and spending time watching Frank Sinatra films in the Cinematheque (and thinking about Sam Rohdie, who loved that place). This was my first solo international trip and mostly enjoyable, with the exception of being pick-pocketed on the Metro. A horrible experience, but I refused to let it get me down and after a day of talking to the police and Visa, got back onto the Metro and carried on my holiday. I also spent an unforgettable evening in a dive Parisian cinema watching a French shadow-cast take on The Rocky Horror Picture Show – quite simply my favourite cinema experience ever.

The Who came to Belfast at the end of the month and thanks to my work for GiggingNI I finally got to tick them off my bucket list. And then within days I was at the Lyric reviewing Yer Granny! and meeting another favourite actor – Gregor Fisher.

July and August seems to have been filled with radio spots, including several weeks reviewing tv for Kerry McLean’s show and gabbing about Sapphire and Steele on Arts Extra. That, and a couple of costume fittings which started something else. I’ve been trying to get back into performance work for a while – I originally went to uni to study drama and become an actor, something that got sidelined. So getting called in for a fitting was something rather exciting – albeit also humiliating. Getting a costume to fit proved incredibly difficult with my ever-expanding girth and was cemented on set a few weeks later when we struggled to squeeze me into anything. That dual humiliation spurred me into beginning to get my body into shape again. By the end of the year I’d lost a significant chunk of weight and its still coming off. More on that at a later date.

Most importantly my divorce was finalised on 3rd August. The arrival of the paperwork the next day signified an absolute end to things which should never have begun, and allowed me to step back into my own skin completely. I took some close friends out for drinks a couple of weeks later to mark the occasion. A gathering of chums rather than a celebration, but something that was important to mark all the same.

Over the summer I also shot a short film project with Rachael Kelly – an experimental piece that should make its way to audiences in 2016. The first in a series of film projects we’ve got lined up.

September saw new me introduce The Godfather at The Strand Arts Centre in my beloved East Belfast. We returned to NVTV with Banterflix series 2 and I turned up on Radio Ulster again, this time in an early morning live slot on Good Morning Ulster talking about the letters of Stan Laurel. We also filmed a segment for Banterflix over the summer about Laurel and Hardy’s visit to Belfast, a version of which eventually aired.

I had my third Rocky Horror experience of the year when I went to see the live broadcast of the new incarnation of the stage show at the local cinema.

October and November flitted mostly between filming (this costume mostly fit!) and teaching a photography workshop for older people down in Glebe House near Strangford. Keeping up with the performing, I was invited to join the cast of Terry Pratchett’s Wyrd Sisters in a Belfast production by the Bart Players. I hadn’t trod a stage in some years, and to be able to take part in a play by someone I admired was a thrill I couldn’t turn down. I ended up in several short parts including my twist on the iconic Death.

I clocked another one off my bucket list with Weird Al, and chatted zombies with the Banterflix guys at a live event in the Beanbag cinema, and I caught The Proclaimers live in Belfast.

In October the Save Bray Studios campaign essentially came to an end after five years of protest led by me and others. Permission was granted to convert the historic studios into housing. I was interviewed by BBC Radio Berkshire and local press, and for once had to let vent my full frustration.

L to R: Robert JE Simpson, Aaron Hunter, Rachael Kelly, Conor Smyth at the Takover Film panel on Harold and Maude.

December was full pelt. More filming. And I was extensively involved in Takeover Film’s events tying in with the BFI’s Love season. I introduced Amelie and following on from an earlier workshop, a screening of Harold and Maude which included a live panel discussion. This seemed well received and there’s hope that we’ll be doing these semi-regularly in the near future.

I popped over to Liverpool for the first time in a rapid and filled trip. After many years of distant collaboration, David Rattigan and I met in the flesh to talk over past glories and new ideas. He proved an excellent tour guide as we made our way through pubs, eateries, docks, churches and the first night of the new Hammer play The Haunting of Hill House. Most humbling, I visited the dock where my great-great grandfather had drowned on his first ever visit to Liverpool some 70 years before. I was touched to have such a good friend with me for the moment.

As the year end I crammed in another review for Gigging NI – a Stephen Sondheim musical at the Lyric Theatre, and then there was my now traditional Christmas week outings – this time to see David C Clements, and Gary Lightbody in two excellent gigs (and with David also supporting the Lightbody event), and a Terri Hooley set at the Goat’s Toe in Bangor!

My last act of 2015 was to audition for a part in another play down in Lisburn – a new farce – and get cast.

Looking back over the year I can’t help but be happy with the outcome. I’ve achieved a fair bit. Started travelling a little again, dabbled in academia, more radio and television work. I’ve directed, acted and broadcast. My performance experience is on the up and I hope to build on this in 2016. Ideally I want to move further towards professional work, but its getting someone to take a chance first.

The workshop activity was a pleasant addition, and I really enjoyed talking about photography again. I didn’t get to talk in quite as many places this year as I’d have liked with film-related events, but look forward to building on that next year too.

On a personal level I’ve done a lot of healing this year, and I know that has helped with everything else too. I spent the year talking to a therapist most weeks, and that journey has been vital to my development. There’s still some things unresolved, but I’m leaps and bounds beyond where I was when I started. My personal life and creativity has surged as a result.

On that note, I should also mention I started drawing again towards the end of the year. Just small sketches, but its the first time I’ve done anything like that in years, and sharing via social media helped encourage me to do more. As this was happening I also got an offer to host my first ever solo exhibition, which will be happening in May 2016, and I’m over the moon about that.

This has been the best year since I started the blog without a doubt. I enter 2016 a much happier man. After achieving last year’s goals (I got to Paris after all!) I need to aim higher this year. I want to finish a couple of book projects. More travel – if at all possible I want to head to the US in the next year, possibly Las Vegas / LA. I’d like to start painting again. And complete some more films. I’m still eeking out a perilous freelance existence, so always looking for new opportunities to work and collaborate – I’m casting my eyes across Ireland and the UK this year. Whatever the future has in store, I’m ready to embrace it.

Punctum II: Locale

Image for my upcoming exhibition ‘In Plain Sight’

In May I will present my first solo photography exhibition, ‘In Plain Sight’. While finalising the list of works which will be on display is still some way off, I’ve been dipping into my archive of images from the last decade, revisiting photos I haven’t looked at in years (and in some instances, ever). Naturally, not everything was conceived with any artistic view – photographers and artists are as likely to take candid snapshots for personal consumption as anyone else. But in doing so, I must take a journey back to when and where many of the images were taken. There are thematically linked works around death and hurt – some will be shared, some will not. But at times, even the most aesthetically pleasing and happy image has cause to wound me – for every image hides a story.

Three years ago, physically sick with stress, and trapped in a space with no heating and only my dog for company, I packed up the last of my things and formally walked out on everything that made me unhappy and began on the real and metaphorical road to recovery and healing. There are images created during the worst days of my life which are among those I am proud of – moments of inspiration, visual notes for projects not yet begun.

The memories stirred by images may hurt, but the images themselves cannot – they record what was, not what is, not what will be.

Just as meaning can be placed upon a two dimensional image, a representation of a past reality, so too then can meaning be placed upon three dimensional spaces – actual present embodiment of past reality. Unlike images, spaces live and combine visuals with audio and aromatic cues. The combination can be overwhelming, and a much surer way to put one back mentally into a previous life experience. Where trauma existed in those spaces, a revisitation can be catastrophic.

I believe in constantly creating new memories, new images, new associations. Life is organic, transitional, evolving.

Cycling through County Down today I found myself whizzing along a route that used to form my daily commute. A road which led to unhappy memories. And yet I found myself content in the quiet countryside, exhilarated with the exercise, surprisingly safe in the space. I allowed myself to recall the reasons I was attracted to moving out here in the first place, the days of solitude that brought temporary serenity to me.

Over the last decade I have turned some of my worst days into positive ones by saddling up and setting forth on two wheels by my own steam throughout the Northern Irish countryside. Often with my camera secure in my panniers. Rather than feelings of fear, oppression, I clicked with the joy of escapism, revitalised. Out of the lion of the past came forth honey.

And so I return to my images, my photos, and my memories, and with the confirmation of experience, I am not afraid.

A biographer or family historian of the future may see my (or your) photos, and make connections, assumptions, interpretations. Perhaps they see something there that means nothing to you, or perhaps they hit upon some thread that you bury in your subconscious. Why has the photographer returned to a scene of trauma? Is it because they are looking for answers, unfinished business perhaps? Or is it simply because the past is no longer poisoned, and a new book has begun?

Annadorn Dolmen – Jan 2016

MJ – Five years on

Tree carving of Michael Jackson at the o2 in 2009. Image © 2014 Robert JE Simpson. All Rights Reserved.

Good grief, how did that happen already. Five years since the fabled ‘King of Pop’ (not to be confused with the ‘Peter Pan of Pop’) Michael Jackson shuffled off this mortal coil, aided by some naughty chemicals.

I wasn’t much of a Jackson fan, though I’d sung along with the rest of them to Bad when I was a kid, and I loved Moonraker Moonwalker with its robot Michael  – just the sort of film a kid could fall for. Erm.

But as the 90s wore on I lost much of my interest – the songs were a little less catchy, a little more self-indulgent, and MJ was at the centre of a series of abuse law suits.

I was in Edinburgh visiting my brother the night MJ died. I recall checking the news online as the story broke and being transfixed on TMZ’s feed, which seemed to be the only reliable source.

A few weeks later and I was in London and found myself over at the O2 in Greenwich to visit the Body Worlds exhibition. Of course, the O2 was also the venue where MJ was meant to perform his This Is It residency, and following his death on 25 June 2009, it had become a shrine, with fans making the trip to scrawl messages on the walls and fences around the complex. It was eerie – I’d arrived too late to witness the most excessive outpourings but there was still a very real atmosphere around and one felt compelled to read the wall scrawls.

Other tributes sprung up in other cities, and I recall seeing another huge tribute outside an HMV store. I didn’t get why people would make these temporary writings. Any more than when I visited Jim Morrison’s grave in Paris.

I didn’t stay too long, but I did snap a dozen frames to record the memorial. It was something significant, and very much of the moment, and too specific to overlook.

I haven’t looked at those photos in quite some time, but five years seems like a significant juncture to change that. And so I’ve posted them over on my Flickr here:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/avalard/sets/72157645314563806/

It seems like only yesterday. But of course it isn’t. It’s been five years.

Punctum I

Fig. 1. Resignation. Self-portrait. 2011.

The old adage states that a picture is worth a thousand words. Certainly photographs have great power – not only as aesthetic images in their own right, but also as items of record and archive. Within a single frame we have a record of a unique moment in time – of a specific location and specific people.

But they are also open to great subjectivity and interpretation, with meaning varying from individual to individual. Ultimately the only opinion on the image that really matters is that of the participants – those being photographed, or who were present at the moment the image was being taken. In turn they may distribute the image further, perhaps accompanied by a note to a loved one, further imbuing the image with specific meanings, and the recipient may place additional meaning on top of the image.

As a visual thinker, and a visual artist (a term I am finally coming to terms with using when regarding myself), photographs are particularly important to me. My vast personal archive – 35mm negatives, prints and digital files of my own work – is supplemented by an archive of photographs relating to my research work, a collection of images from films, made by others unknown to promote their commercial product.

I have images within my archive that I return to again and again. For some it is the pure aesthetic of a situation. For others it is the memory of a place or a person that I wish to recall. And yet others are a stark reminder of events and people I must try not to forget, and the journey made to a better place.

I have made some of my archive available on Facebook (mostly to share with friends) and via Flickr (which seldom contains images of family/friends, and is instead geared towards more neutral ‘work’ work).

A collection of images was removed once, because of the interpretation somebody else chose to give those images, and the inappropriate comments that they felt appropriate to make on them. But deleting an image does not remove a memory, and an interpretation does not necessarily reflect accurately on the truth within an image. I have cried over the loss of images, when compelled to remove something from a social networking site, or when a physical print has been destroyed by someone else. Only I have the right to destroy or alter an image that I have taken. And only I as photographer really know the meaning of any individual image. In the curation of a set of images, or on viewing a body of imagery over a lifetime, assumptions are made, interpretations are spun. It is no different from the English lit student dissecting the possible interpretation and history surrounding a particular written text.

Fig. 2. Me, c. 2006.

My undergrad professor once said in relation to film criticism that every interpretation was valid – because it is a personal response to the work. But a film as entertainment, is not the same as a photograph as personal record, or a single image taken in 1/80th of a second – a split moment in time, forever captured.

Alongside the assembly of a photo archive comes the redaction of same. As curator one makes choices regarding what to keep or what to make public. I keep all my negatives, and only in the instance of a completely botched photo (utterly blurred, unrecognisable etc) do I delete the digital file. What is the statement one is making. If one chooses a photograph is it because of the people, the place, or some other aesthetic choice? Is there a subconscious message being played out?

Above my desk just now are three photographs – not selected through any deliberate process, but because they became dislodged when going through some files and I posted them above my desk for refiling later. Only they’ve been there a couple of months now. Perhaps somebody else would come in and see them and make assumptions about the coded meaning.

Fig. 3. Hammer House

The first is a black and white photograph of the exterior of Hammer House in Wardour Street in London, which I took during a visit circa 2006. It isn’t a particularly good photograph, but was taken during one of my earliest visits to the site – a reference point for my ongoing research on Hammer. It helps me feel connected to the work.

The second (not shown) is a polaroid image of me dressed as Santa with my two female helpers sitting on my knees. A fun image taken a couple of Christmases ago while I was helping out with a local charity. Aside from the connection with the charity, I have no other dealings with the others in the photos. We’ve just passed the festive season, so it serves as a reminder of my own part in that, and seeing its a polaroid I am reminded of the explanation I gave to many of the children about the magic photographs – kids today aren’t used to polaroids.

Fig. 3 – c. 2001

The third (Fig. 4) is a candid photo taken in a fast food restaurant (probably the McDonalds that used to be on University Road), in circa 2001 while I was an undergrad. I’m facing a girl with long blonde hair – Lucy – the both of us with stupid grins on our faces and playing with cardboard cut-out characters from some tie-in. Perhaps the assumption is that this is a photo of a young ‘couple’, but in fact Lucy was one of my fellow film students and no more than that. For me, it is simply a rare photo of me in my university days, and smiling in the company of friends.

Put together and without explanations I’m not entirely sure what impression they give. Possibly a slightly narcissistic one as two of the images include me as subject rather than image maker. There are other images that exist that project a sense of happiness, fun and general positivity, but which may themselves be isolated moments from otherwise bad days or weeks. I cannot recall what happened either side of the McDonalds image, but in that instant I was evidently in excellent form.

Images and words need reviewed in context, and all projections should be considered within the light of evident bias and agenda – neither of which are necessarily bad things in themselves. While documentary style photographs can display a truth, they do not contain the full objective truth – things and people are cropped out, they don’t always convey the emotions of photographer or subject (which can be utterly at odds with each other).

There is a photo at the start of this entry. Again, not a particularly great image, but a self-portrait which for me is laden with meaning and resonance. I know the full context of date taken, location, and everything else. One can’t help but wonder what other viewers would deduce from it and suggest it says (if indeed it says anything).

A lifetime passed…

I’ve had the most peculiar week…

Most of you know just how lost I’ve felt this last year as my life has spiralled out of all control, plunged into various abysses and effectively reset itself. But I’ve been allowing myself some increasing confidence and hope as little by little I once more find myself and the things in life that truly give me pleasure.

By request… Me in my hat at Snow Patrol (faces obscured to protect the innocent)

For me pure pleasure isn’t found in sex, but in friendships, in music and in creativity. Giving of myself in whatever form of expression I can, and taking in the expression of others. Suddenly that all seems to have come together in the last week.

Unexpectedly I got offered a ticket for Snow Patrol’s gig in Belfast (their only concert of the year) last Thursday as part of the Tennants Vital concerts. I’ve been listening to them for years, but in spite of being local boys I’ve not had a chance to listen to them live before. Gary Lightbody would have been finishing his time at Campbell College when I was finding my way as a member of the junior school. (Jonny Quinn was also at Campbell, and band photographer Bradley Quinn).  I’ve always been interested in these little coincidental crossings, and Lightbody’s lyrics have resonated more than once. Admirer first, discoverer of a curious tenuous connection later (I’m bound to have passed him in the Victorian corridors of CCB back in the day).

For a change I didn’t go out armed with my camera – aside from anything else, there was promise of a lot of rain (I wore my fedora – best idea I’ve had in ages). It meant that for a change I was just able to switch off and enjoy the gig – and I did that in the company of several of the girls (by girls I mean women, obviously) from the charity I’m involved with.

Took a bit of time out on Friday night too to see another gig with a dear friend and between the two concerts I got word of a third happening on Sunday night that I couldn’t turn down.

Nathan Connolly at Little Matador’s debut gig
© 2013, Robert J.E. Simpson. All Rights Reserved.

Little Matador are the new band from Snow Patrol member Nathan Connolly, and they were playing their debut live performance at The Goat’s Toe in Bangor ahead of supporting Nine Inch Nails in Belfast today. The rest of the lineup consists of Gavin Fox, Paul Brennan, Troy Stewart and Dave Magee.

The sound is heavier than Snow Patol, more rock, a different sort of passionate with a dose of metal. The set was short – only about 45 minutes, but with an album already recorded and due for release in the new year, this is a group to watch out for.

The audience was as mixed as a Snow Patrol gig, and I’m in no doubt that a good many folk came along just to see the international music star. As a front man he holds his own, and judging by the comments I heard and read, he’s nay bad on the old eyes. This time I did bring my camera – no way was I going to miss a debut gig and not record it in some way. Out of courtesy I didn’t video any of the music. But there was something else at play… something my friends know about, but which I don’t talk about publicly.

I don’t wish to imply more into the encounter than there is, but personally I found it a terribly emotional few days, and one which brought me right back to my infancy. That’s a very strange position to be in when you’re in the presence of rock gods. You see, I was there not simply to rock out and record, but I was there to support some of my oldest friends, ones who admittedly I had lost touch with. Dave and his brother Herb (possibly best known to the wider public as members of Northern Irish band LaFaro) are probably the two people outside my own family that I have known the longest – we met in pre-school and served the next 8 years together before drifting off to different secondary schools. Only in this day and age of social networking have we been able to reconnect, which we did about 5 years ago. I popped along to Auntie Annie’s to see a one-off reunion of F.U.E.L. which was fab – Nathan wasn’t playing after going on to bigger and better things with Snow Patrol, but Herb and Dave were, as was Peter Comfort – folks I hadn’t seen in nearly a decade, but who I had much love for.

I can’t believe 5 years have passed since then – it must be a sign of ageing, that things you thought were only a few months ago turn out to be days and years in the past. We’ve all grown so much older now – ginger beards seem obligatory across the board – but we’re still the same. But watching the band on Sunday I was hit with pride and affection. Chatting after the gig just cemented that – I confess I was a little teary eyed which gabbing upstairs, and that wasn’t just the pints talking. A proximity both physically and mentally with important parts of my childhood… something I’d resigned myself to having lost years ago. Regardless of how we’ve changed, how far we drift apart, those first friendships are among the most important any of us will ever make in our lives.

Gary Lightbody in The Goats Toe.
© 2013, Robert J.E. Simpson. All Rights Reserved.

Back in the bar Gary Lightbody could be spotted surrounded by adoring fans, and proved himself very approachable and likeable from my observations. Maybe its a Northern Irish thing – are we all so accommodating? Nathan was similarly swarmed and there were plenty of adoring fans, autographs and photos. I grabbed a quick chat – couldn’t tell you what Nathan recalls about me, but we were friends too once, and I only lost touch with him as a teenager. The boy done good…

Bizarrely I don’t see an unapproachable celebrity, I see a normal person who just happens to produce work that I can consume and appreciate. We were gabbing when a male fan came over and interrupted, a little squeeish (damn it man, I waited for a quiet moment!). I don’t think I’ve been too fanboyish when meeting folk for a few years now, and its impossible to do with someone you know/knew. I did make a comment about appreciating what it was like to be hounded and having an audience to please. There was a little scoffery between N and my gig partner at that – “No you don’t”… But actually, I do. There’s something odd about being a voice on the internet, or producing anything consistent, whether it be books, articles, videos or whatever else. You do pick up admirers. Some of them are here because they love what you say and what you do, others are possibly attracted by the illusion of authority or gravity that we project. I’m sure many of my fellow bloggers who read this can support the statement. I’ve had fan mail… (and I’m nobody) and stalkers… and that’s creepy!

That and working at various festivals and with actors, directors etc from the old school of British science fiction and horror, I’ve had plenty of time to witness first hand the demands made by the adoring public. Sure, not in the relentless scale rock stars must face it, but the comment wasn’t uninformed. Fandom is a funny place, but I’ll leave that for another day…

It was however a thrill to see my old friends excelling.

Little Matador at The Goat’s Toe (Dave Magee is on the left)
© 2013, Robert J.E. Simpson. All Rights Reserved

I did say that I felt that pure pleasure was in several things. Friendships have been of vital importance in recent months, and I’ve been blessed. But there are other creative things. The resonance of the music has fed into my own creative work. A couple of my photos from Sunday’s gig have been used by the band to help publicise their other gigs, at a time when I’ve been investing heavily in my photography and building up the portfolio. I’ve got a couple of sessions being plotted with another local band, alongside a couple of film projects. Then I got an invite a couple of nights ago to exhibit a piece of artwork in an exhibition in Belfast. Considering the piece was originally designed to get me back into drawing and painting, to be invited to exhibit has been a great boost of confidence, whether it gets sold by the gallery or not. There does seem to me to be something at work here, more substantial and important than has been given credit thus far. I’m juggling a lot of pies, but ultimately this is the most diversely creative I’ve been in years. And I’m loving it. The trick now, is riding that creativity into something lasting. Watch this space.

In a bizarre little twist, something I hadn’t realised… one of the girls I was at Thursday’s gig was another old primary school classmate. The face had seemed vaguely familiar, but I’d never caught her full name and so never made the connection… On my Facebook I have a photo from one of the local papers when I was in P3 at Belmont, and sure enough, there she is… and so is Herb, and Dave, and Nathan, and me. Its not fate, or irony, I don’t think… but it is a great cosmic something. If I hadn’t been at Thursday’s gig, I might not have heard about Sunday, and so not been…

In a year when I’ve felt lost more times that I care to remember, I felt like I’d come home. Should we never speak again (perish the thought), thanks for that guys. I think I might actually have had a perfect weekend.

x

PS: Follow Little Matador on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/LittleMatador
and Twitter here: https://twitter.com/LittleMatador

My album of photos from the gig is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/avalard/sets/72157635135816486/

March to what exactly?

“Orange March”
image © 2013 Robert J.E. Simpson. All Rights Reserved

I try and avoid discussing my perceived political background and my personal religious and political beliefs in public. Why? Well, a) because they’re rather personal, and b) because I live in Northern Ireland, a country which has a terrible reputation when it comes to tolerance. Have you seen the news during the last few months? We went from that insane violence surrounding the flag issue in December and following (ruining business for many of the little players), and then in the last week, the riots have started again allegedly because some folk were told they couldn’t host a parade on the periphery of a sensitive community.

I’m not stupid, I’m well aware that both sides of this supposed debate are perfectly adept at playing dirty, winding each other up, insisting on respective rights while completely negating those of the other. Not even the presence of Ross Kemp and his documentary crew were able to diminish tensions last Friday.

Considering that the negotiations didn’t start until very late in the day, I personally thought the Parades Commission made a perfectly sensible compromise in agreeing that the Orange Order could march along the route (Ardoyne/Crumlin Road area of Belfast) in the morning, but would not be allowed to do the same coming home. I also thought that the nationalist residents made the right voices when they said, in light of this, they would be calling off their planned counter-demonstrations. That m’dears is compromise.

“Hatred Of Orange Cult” – Orange Order parade, Dublin Road
image © 2013 Robert J.E. Simpson. All Rights Reserved

I also think its pretty shitty when the Orange Order stands back while one of the bands marching under its banner stops outside a Roman Catholic church (St. Patricks – where there has been trouble before), and plays the Sash (a song, played to a traditional tune, which is perceived by many Nationalists and Catholics as deeply sectarian and thus offensive) in a triumphant manner, when the compromise instructed by the Parades Commission was to play only hymns (which as universal Christian songs are offensive to neither side). But then we all know that the problem here isn’t really about religion, it is simply intolerance. Much better was those bands who instigated a gap either side of the church when the march got held up, allowing the bands to respect the space.

I also find it somewhat sad that a tune which originates in a song about sadness in failing to bring two communities together (Scots and Irish as Irish Molly O – http://ballads.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/view/image/7421/0) has become a symbol for emphasizing divide.

Let me avoid for now, getting into the flag debate too deeply, but I do find the idea of burning flags of the other community/nation on bonfires rather repulsive. It isn’t just disrespecting the Irish community when you do that, dear protestant brethren, it is also disrespecting this entire island and our ancestors. Need I remind you that the green is meant to represent the catholic population, the orange represents the protestants, and the white the hope for peace between the two. Unionists should embrace the tricolour alongside the UK flag… after all, you are at least represented on it, which is more than can be said about some of the alternatives.

To lay my cards on the table – I myself am from a largely protestant/unionist background. However, I spent a good deal of time in my youth in cross-community work, and with friends and work experience on all sides of the community (North and South), I’m far too liberal to be a bigot. Should I be ashamed of my ‘heritage’? I’m not sure – but I’m certainly ashamed of some of those who claim to represent me and who influence others’ perception of me.

I think there’s a place for the Hibernians AND the Orange Order in our society, but they need radical overhauling if they want to be accepted by us all. The PR around these organisations is a disaster. You CAN be pro-protestant or pro-catholic WITHOUT being sectarian – they should learn how to do that.

Unfortunately there are always going to be idiots – and they are probably the minority – who make things very complicated and unpleasant for the rest of us. But whatever I feel personally, nothing will change without proper dialogue and discussion with ground members.

I spent several days this last couple of weeks photographing various scenes relating to the Orange Order demonstrations. Unlit bonfires, bonfires, parades, riot squads, flags, debris… trying always to be an objective observer, and yet looking for images which intrigues or speaks in its own right.

There are some who will see the publication of these images as being a pro-Orange Order move. However I hope that the images of drunkeness, police forces, and loyalist troublemakers go some way to establishing my near-neutral stance.  For balance, I will have to photograph a companion set from a Hibernian march, or even some of the St Patrick’s day parades (which do get out of hand).

The images are available on my Flickr profile, with a few more to follow.

A specific album for the 11th night is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/avalard/sets/72157634603919194/

and from the 12th July parades in Belfast: http://www.flickr.com/photos/avalard/sets/72157634616143544/

In closing, an addendum… The Orange Order isn’t just a protestant organisation, it is a (supposedly) Christian one. With Christians on both sides (Roman Catholics and Protestants), perhaps they should listen more closely to the teachings of Christ – didn’t Jesus tell us to turn the other cheek? Does violence and taunting really sit comfortably alongside that?

Altercation II. (Loyalists come face to face with the riot squad near Belfast City Hall).
image © 2013 Robert J.E. Simpson. All Rights Reserved