No relief…

12 Aug

Quick and observant readers will note that my last entry was removed within 48 hours of posting. Not a situation I am particularly happy about.

Part of the reason why I started writing about mental health issues and my own experiences, were as a way of dealing and taking ownership of those very same things. I didn’t want to spend my life living in fear of exposure of things I might have done whilst dealing with problems, or which may have affected my own development. I also seek an understanding of myself, and help in the general education of the populous that mental health issues are more common than seems to be accepted, and affect folk from all walks of life.

Just because you have had or continue to live with those problems or concerns, it doesn’t make you a bad person, doesn’t make you a bad choice as an employee, and most certainly doesn’t make you ‘mad’ (as one person suggested I was making myself out to be – I wasn’t).

I find it fascinating that me discussing my issues with my perceived political heritage merited no response, and yet the detailed discussion of my darkest days prompted more questions and concerns about my current state of mind than anything else. I thought long and hard about making the declarations, and while perhaps ill-judged to reveal all in one article, I don’t think there’s anything that ultimately I should be trying to hide.

Ultimately that release that I sought in taking ownership of my life experiences, was taken away from me through pressure. Concerns about my health, my state of mind (very rational thank you), and the impact that said admissions might have for a potential employer, were voiced in such a manner than I felt I had no choice. I bowed to a pressure that I suspect I would not have bowed to under different circumstances.

Context is everything when discussing mental health, and is one of the reasons I think counselling is a fantastic resource. It allows you to explore the reasons behind your problems – which are often more than a simple chemical imbalance in the brain. For me a number of pressures came to a head in an intense situation prompting my first break-down (I’m not going to pretend I didn’t have it…. talking about it helped me overcome it). Continuing with that environment ensured the sustained deterioration of my well-being (I believe).

Remove the context and the finer details (which I can’t go into here for various reasons just now), and well, you simply have an incident where somebody effectively goes crazy. But explore the context and you can see triggers and reasons and environments which negatively impacted.

Mental health is a very broad term, as is depression. If you are concerned that you might be having mental problems, or issues with depression, then please talk to someone about it. It might help alleviate the stress, and it may help you pinpoint contributing factors that you can then act upon. Much of the population deals with some sort of stress or depression every year, but failing to acknowledge that or deal with it is where the problem really lies – a minor depression can quickly snowball into something else. Don’t be embarrassed – there is absolutely no shame in needing to talk or feeling depressed.


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