The curious incident of the Bobbystalkers. Or, ‘I think you might be unstable’

2 Jul

I’ve met some strange and weird people in my time. Nothing wrong with that. I think ‘fandom’ attracts them to be honest, and I probably qualify amongst the masses of the weird myself. But I’ve also had more than my fair share of the other kinds of weirdos. Psychotic, neurotic, mentally imbalanced people who take things to a whole new level of freakyshitness.

I’m starting to think I must attract a certain kind of woman. Not that I haven’t had lovely friends, and girlfriends, but there’s a particular group of people who should be sitting with a therapist rather than pursuing my foppishly clad personage.

Obviously I’m highlighting here. I mean, I’m not even going to talk about the lovely gentlemen who have passed me emails love notes in the hope of snuggling up. Oh how kind, but sadly no. I might look more and more like Jason King, but unlike the great Peter Wyngarde, I’m particular about which sex I cuddle up to. Oh all right, you can have a hug…

One of my wise (and coincidently, gay) male friends has suggested I might want to consider changing my image. He thinks that my velvet frock coats and occasional donning of a fedora *might* just be giving off the wrong signals. Please. I’ve tried to be many other things, but at the end of the day I like to wear what I feel comfortable in. I put on too much weight to fit into my leathers of late, and I’m still happy longing around in jeans and a shirt at home or most of the time I’m out and about. I don’t dress to go to the shops for goodness sake.

Oh cyber-stalkers, I worry sometimes that you really don’t know me… Image is nothing… erm…

Remind me to tell you my story sometime about Freecycle… close friends know this one already, but a good story is worth repeating…

Anyway. I have granted the name ‘Bobbystalkers’  to those people I don’t really know in person but who have taken to following me across the various social networks. Nothing wrong with that per se, as I do it myself. But they exist in different levels, and some of them are rather passionate to say the least… earnest maybe, but fervent too. Its not always obvious to others, but it is to me. For every so many of these there’s a scary one. I don’t always know at first, but still.

Over the years I’ve been lied to, attacked, beaten, stood-up, the victim of at smear campaigns, the target of voodoo (yup, seriously), and stalked. Water off a duck’s back, but you do soon learn to spot the trends before they surface. You get a feel of what a person is like before they whip out the knife. I’m a naturally reticent person, I don’t easily give out really personal information about myself, and there’s good reason.

Recently I’ve witnessed some unusual habits amongst some of the Bobbystalkers, which emphasised the stalker bit. Maybe its something to do with meeting people online, but some of my best friends I met online, and they’re relatively normal.

Most disturbing has been discovering that one of the former BobbyStalkers has been telling people I’m her ‘ex’ in a matter of fact, warding off, possessive kind of way. Is hilarious on many levels, my real exes usually don’t want to bother with me after we break up (I’m super-high maintenance, probably). And you know, I wouldn’t mind too much if it was a fling who it hadn’t worked out with but who decided that one date was enough to class me as an ‘ex’, but this fille is tragically delusioned. We never dated, never went out other than in group social environments, never pressed lips… heck, I didn’t even flirt dangerously let alone consider actual hanky panky!  So why?

I can only assume she’s deluded, or insane, or suffers from Munchausen syndrome. Which is a cool name for a Syndrome, with its Terry Gilliam-esque implications, but certainly not actually that fun for other people to deal with.

The thing is, I’ve had more than my fill of weird psychotic behaviour, but this is a little Mark Chapman when you think about it. I’m like ZZZ list if we’re talking about celebrities, but still…

Were it the first dose of weirdness I’d witnessed from said person I’d be totally shocked, but well, there’s a reason we don’t socialise any more and it was their erratic, impulsive, over-reactionary behaviour that caused it. I’m a forgiving person, and I try and understand. But I nearly always get to find out about the lies, I have a knack for it. Its best not to bullshit me. And not to spread stories. About anyone.

Is weird, cus I’m also being accused of having flings I haven’t had. Been there before. I was once accused of sleeping with someone and having a long-term affair when it simply hadn’t happened anywhere except in the poor lady’s mind. She’s excused though, for reasons I’m not going into tonight.

I’m not stupid either, I can work things out, can read between the lines. I’m also a very good researcher (see my work as a film historian), and I keep good notes, and back up anything important. I’m not the sort of person you want to try and mess around with.

Am I the only one this sort of thing happens to? [sorry, this was a fun blog, but with a scary sting…]

Will not be surprised if I get another dose of mad emails, or my formspring is abused…


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